Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Sleepless

I can't sleep.  I really wish I could.  I feel like the flood gates have opened and I can't stop thinking about her.  I am very tender emotional right now and am not sure why.  I don't know how to deal with this see-saw I am on.

Last night I had a great night with my husband, a date night.  We had a fantastic time and really connected.  Prior to going out, I had a massage and a chiropractic adjustment.  I was sure I would sleep well.  And even thought my physical body is feeling less tension and holding less stress, my mind is tight and full with the pain my physical body was carrying.  I thought if I relax my physical body, my mind would follow suit, it hasn't.  I feel almost worse than I did before.  I am feeling confused.  It is like an oxymoron.  My body is so much more relaxed than it has been in weeks and yet I can't enjoy it. 

So, here I am. Sitting up at 4:23am, sleepless, when all I really want to do is rest.

1 comment:

  1. I was up too. Wish I read this, I would have called you. You're feeling. {Pretty sure healing doesn't go along any timeline.} xo

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