Monday, March 14, 2011

Gabriella's Garden: Easter 2011

Easter 2011

I went to the cemetery today and finished decorating for Easter.  I am so happy with how it turned out.  I know it sounds funny that I am 'happy' with it.  I go to the cemetery about once a week.  I know a lot of people are 'not cemetery' people, and neither was I.  But, for some reason this is different for me. I don't go to the cemetery necessarily to cry, but if I do that is okay.  I go to check up on things.  While I am there, not only do I look to see Gabriella's garden is in good order, but, I check on the other babies too.  Especially the ones who's parents we know from the bereavement group. I was talking about this with a friend as I drove away from the cemetery.  I suppose the best way I can describe the pull to go to the cemetery, is nurturing.  For me, going and checking up on things, decorating and such, is a form of nurturing for me.  I am still her mother and I want to take care of her.  Death doesn't take the urge away from a mother's heart.  For now, this is all I can do for her and I am happy to do it.