Friday, March 11, 2011

God Is With Me

In what should be the worst and lowest point of my life, I am feeling the most blessed and loved.  God has not punished my family, rather we have been blessed. I can hardly believe I am writing these words.

God has given my daughter's life meaning beyond that which is human.  Her spirit is enabling me to do things I never thought or knew I could.  I am finding out who I was made to be and to be comfortable in being that person.  It is simply amazing to me that out of such grief and tragedy, such an incredible and glorious good can result.  No one can tell me this anything short of God's light shining on me and my family.  It was not God's intention to punish us.  God loves each of us.  I believe he wants us to be all we can.  My beautiful daughter's short life had a purpose too.  She is reaching out to people through me. She will have a long legacy because of all she has inspires me to do.  Other people's life's will be changed and effected because of my actions.  I would not be doing the things I am doing and planning on doing without her having been in my life. I would not be who I am without her. It is no small coincidence. 

Life is good. No, I don't have Gabriella in my arms everyday.  But, I try to remember everyday that life is not only about mourning her. It is about finding the balance of missing her and making her life and mine meaningful.  And for that I can say, God is with me; and I am thankful.

2 comments:

  1. Beautiful. You have a gift, and it's not just writing.

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  2. You are far more advanced then I was at that time in my life. I have found god now but it took me years to stop asking why or blaming. You do have a gift and its not just writing I want you to know even 24 years later you are making a difference in my life I see how elegant you are in your words I often remember the saying God only gives us what he knows we can handle. I know I am the woman today because of what happened to me as I am sure you will find this to be true in years to come. May god bless you and your family

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